Dumb Criminals

Dumb Car

A woman in Seattle stole a car from a dealership and planned to drive it to Chicago. She was spotted by the police driving erratically on a city street around 7:00 in the morning. The police tried to pull her over but she sped off. The police did not chase her due to heavy traffic. Then they found her about an hour later on I-90 headed east. She was standing outside the car throwing rocks at it.

I guess she'd never bought a car from a dealership, otherwise she would have known that dealers never put much gas in a car, just enough for the new owner to get it off the lot and to the nearest gas station. She had run out of gas.

Crime of Opportunity

In Auburn, WA a rental company left a large television unattended in the back of one of their trucks. Seeing a Crime of Opportunity, this guy finds a grocery cart, loads the TV onto it and pushes it down the street - right past the police station.

A policeman arrived at the station and thinking that it looked kind of strange, stopped the man to question him. The man said he had bought the TV from a friend, but then tried to run away. The policeman caught him.

In court, the story was changed. Then he said he was moving the TV for his friend, but he didn't know where the friend lived or his phone number or how to contact him. He didn't even know his friend's last name.

He was arrested and charged with second degree theft.

Power Outage

A man arrived at home to find a burglar rifling through the rooms of the house. Startled, the burglar jumped out a window and ran away.

It wasn't hard for the police to find the would-be thief. He left his cell phone plugged into a wall socket. There had been a power outage in the area. The thief's phone was dead and he needed to charge it.

She Only Wanted Some Change

A woman walked into a bank and handed the teller a $10,000 bill and asked for change. (Quarters, maybe... No, just kidding.)

The teller was suspicious and called over the bank manager. They were right to be question it. The bill was fake. It is thought that there are only about 300 $10,000 bills in the world. Most of them belong to collectors. The Secret Service is investigating her for counterfeiting.

Now if she just hadn't been lazy and made $100 bills instead, she could have spent them at stores and maybe gotten away with it.

Wrong Place, Wrong Time

A police officer in Salem, Oregon spotted a car which had been reported as stolen. He parked nearby to watch for someone to return to the car. A guy did. He got in the car and drove off. Before the police were able to get set up to stop the car, the guy saw that he had been spotted, stopped the car and ran off down the railroad tracks. He got away.

But not for long About 30 minutes later he walked up to an undercover police officer and was arrested. (Don’t' know why he did that.) He went to jail on suspicion of unauthorized use of a motor vehicle, possession of a stolen vehicle and first-degree criminal trespass.

He Got Away, But…

A guy goes into a bank, pulls out a gun and orders everyone to the floor. He gets away with $6,000. So far, so good (for him, anyway).

But the police had no trouble finding him. He stuffed the money in his pocket, but dropped his wallet just outside the bank. The police showed the ID to the employees who said, yes, indeed, that was the crook. They went to his house and arrested him.

Help!

A thief in a town on the Olympic Peninsula in Washington made it easy for the police to catch him. He took a taxi to the station.

It happened like this. A guy living in the woods went into a nearby neighborhood, broke into a home and stole a woman's purse. The woman had seen the thief hanging around the neighborhood the evening before her house was broken into. After she discovered the missing purse, she suspected he had taken it. The next day, she saw him walking out of the woods and confronted him.

At first, the thief said he was a reporter. But the woman didn't buy it and continued to confront him, at which point the guy got scared and ran off into the woods. Soon after, the woman saw him get into a taxi. She jumped into her car and chased after him. While driving, she called 911 to report the stolen purse and her pursuit of the thief.

Meanwhile, the thief also called 911 to report that he was being chased by a crazed woman. The taxi dropped him off at the police station with the woman hot on his tail.

After calming down both people, the police interviewed them and were able to verify the woman's story when they found items from her purse in the man's tent. They arrested the guy who is also suspected in other break-ins and burglaries in the neighborhood.

Motorcycle Lane

This guy on a motorcycle decided he wanted to get around traffic so he took off in the bike lane and got a ticket. He thought he knew a way to get out of the ticket. So he went to the bike lane and painted a sign on the street saying “Motorcycles Only.” Then he took a picture of it and took it to court with him.

The judge didn’t buy it.

Going For a Record

This guy heads to court after being arrested for the 39th time! Before entering the courthouse, he breaks into several cars in the parking lot and takes several items. When he gets inside the courthouse, there are lots or people, so he tries to sell the stuff he just stole. The only problem is that he tried to sell a GPS to its owner.

They got into a heated argument and someone called the police. The guy was arrested for the 40th time and charged with burglary, larceny and breach of the peace.

Easy to Identify

The police had no trouble finding the suspect in a home invasion robbery in Colorado. He was already in jail on another charge. But how did they know it was him? He fit the unique description to a T. Witnesses described him as having the word "Eastside" tattooed in large letters on his upper lip! He also had the number "13" tattooed on his chin in the shape of a goatee. He must have been trying to make a statement. Now he can make a statement to the judge.

What Were They Thinking??

A couple was being investigated for shoplifting when the police got their break. The couple went on the Dr. Phil show and bragged about how they shoplifted toys and sold them on eBay. Sometimes it's just too easy.

Tough Luck

Some days you just have bad luck. A couple of guys were trying to arrange a drug deal. They left a text message for the potential buyer. He returned the text and they arranged a pick up. The only problem was that they dialed the wrong number. They dialed the number of a drug task force agent.

The guys are in jail facing felony charges.

Too Easy

Two guys broke into a local bread store in Tennessee helping themselves to $300 worth of Twinkies and other snack cakes. When the police arrived, they hid under one of the store delivery trucks.

The cops had an easy job that night. All they had to do was follow the footprints in the snow.

Do the Logical Thing

A 19 year old man stole a business truck early one morning and headed down the highway. But he soon found himself stranded at the side of the road. Thinking he was out of gas, he put on a company vest he found in the truck to look like an employee and called 911 for help. But the employee who witnessed the theft drove by just at that time, recognized the truck and called the police.

As it turned out, he really wasn’t out of gas. He had put unleaded gasoline in the truck which used diesel.

Not So Smart

A not so smart crook ordered 50 cells phones from a distributor in Minnesota and paid with a cashiers check.

Although they'd already sent the cell phones to Monroe, LA, the company grew suspicious when they noticed that the payment actually said it was a "cahier's" check. They called the FBI, also located in Monroe, LA. The FBI had no trouble finding the guy and arresting him as he flagged down the delivery truck because he had used their office's address for the delivery.

He Got Where He Wanted to Be

You have to shake your head at this one. This guy was convicted of two counts of drug possession and three counts of furnishing prohibited substances (cocaine, marijuana and tobacco). Nothing surprising so far. He must have thought that the prospect of a captive audience and extremely willing customers who would pay dearly for products they couldn't get was worth the risk.

Wrong! He was caught using a bolt cutter to cut through the chain link fence surrounding the local county jail in a effort to get inside.

Dang!

The police had little trouble locating and identifying the man who pushed down a 58 year old woman, stole her purse and ran off. During the scuffle, he dropped his wallet with his picture ID in it. He was arrested about 15 minutes later, only a few blocks away.

Expensive Phone Call

"I've been robbed!" reported the caller, "by my roommates."

Well, maybe he was and maybe he wasn't. The police were not able to determine that. But what they did determine was that the man was operating a meth lab in his house. He went to jail, unable to post his bail of $1,000,000.

Crossing State Lines

These guys thought they'd be smart and cross the state line to rob a convenience store. They forgot one detail. You need gas to drive a car.

They were caught about one mile from the store, parked on the side of the road. They should have filled up before robbing the store.

Should Have Thought of That

After going through a security checkpoint at the courthouse, a man reported that his $1,000 watch was missing. The deputies played back the surveillance video and identified the man who stole it.

He was located inside one of the courtrooms where he was attending a pretrial hearing for a charge of selling cocaine. The watch was found in his pocket.

Dead Cells (In the Phones and in the Brains)

Employees of a cell phone store called the police to report that thieves had broken in during the night. All they stole, though, were the hollow replica phones used for display. They left the real phones and cash which were in a nearby room.

Bad Luck

After robbing a bank, this guy hitched a ride to escape the scene. The only problem was that he hitched it with an off duty police officer. He was sent to jail with a $755,000 bail.

Duh!

This guy walks into a bank and asks for his bank balance. The teller first asked him for his name, account number and ID, which he gave. Then he handed her a note saying he had a gun and demanded money.

He got $600, but he also had the police show up at his door and arrest him.

But, Officer, I Didn't Feel Good

An intoxicated man left a bar and, seeing an ambulance parked nearby, stole it and took off, leading the police on a short, low speed chase. When he stopped, he told the police that he had no other way to get home. He was arrested.

Where'd It Go?

An officer inside a convenience store spotted a man peering into his baseball cap, looking confused. It turns out that he was looking for a lost plastic bag of marijuana. It's common for crooks to hide drugs inside the sweatband of a baseball cap.

The officer walked over and peeled the plastic bag off the guy's forehead where it was stuck. Then he arrested him.

But Officer, I Care About Those Kids

An 18 year old man was walking down the middle of the street. When police officers stopped him, they asked him to empty his pockets. Out came a bag of pills and two plastic bags containing a white substance.

He said the pills were Ritalin which he had a prescription for. He had just downed between 8 and 12 of them prior to using the street as a sidewalk. He said the bags contained baking soda which he planned to sell as cocaine to the kids at a high school nearby. When the officers asked him why he would do that, he said that it was better for them and that he was going to use the proceeds to buy the real thing.

He was arrested and charged with intent to deliver a counterfeit substance.

Shouldn't Have Bragged About It

So, this guy who used to work for a tour bus company gets fired. A couple of months later he comes back, steals a bus, and takes it for a joy ride. He planned to drive a few hundred miles, then return it - no harm done, he thought. But he realized the $200 worth of diesel fuel he put in the tank wouldn't get him that far and back, so he cut his trip short and returned the bus, but not before he posted a four minute video of his escapades on YouTube. He called it "The Fabulous Bus Ride."

He faces a fabulous bus ride to prison for up to 15 years.